White Men: we need to step up and speak up – Now.

There are people who are promoting the idea that Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion efforts (DEI) are all about hiring women and people of color who are not qualified for their roles.  This is inaccurate and is creating discord in our society.

DEI is about fairness.  And it is about making sure everyone feels welcome.

However, if women and people of color speak out about this inaccurate portrayal of DEI, people can brush it off as self-serving.  That is why we – White Guys – need to step in and set the record straight.

For example, maybe you will hear people in your organization making comments like “We need to get rid of DEI here and eliminate all these ‘diversity hires.’” One thing you could do would be to pull one or two people aside who were part of the conversation and say “Hey Guys.  We all know that we have many high performing women and people of color who work here.  This ‘DEI bashing’ is all wrong.  All DEI is about is fairness and creating a welcoming place to work.  Don’t we all believe in that?”

You might be in an organization that – for some reason – feels it needs to stop using the words “diversity, equity, and inclusion.”  Okay.  Just don’t let your people forget the principles behind the words.

DEI is about fairness.  And it is about making sure everyone feels welcome.  If we need to change our terminology, fine.  But let us make sure that our policies, our new language, and our behaviors follow these principles.

Issues of Racial Justice touch on a variety of important organizational functions, such as hiring, promotions, and building effective teams.  It is crucial that the principles of fairness and creating a welcoming environment are embedded in these activities.

A few years ago I wrote a blog: Wanted: Allies & Accomplices.  It made the point that DEI efforts need support.  Allies provide “quiet support” and Accomplices provide “vocal advocacy.”  But that was three years ago.  “Quiet support” was fine then.  But not now!  We especially need White Men to step up and advocate for what is right – for fairness and justice.

If you are on board, then please forward this message to other White Guys who you think may be supportive!

Will you use your power wisely???

As humans, it is easy for us to fall into certain “power traps,” as we gain authority.  A recent article in Harvard Business Review outlined some of these.  Just by being aware of them we can potentially avoid these:

*The Savior Trap.  Some people can expect you to have all the answers.  Consequently you can fall into the trap of thinking that you actually have those answers, rather than relying on your team.  You can become a micromanager.  Focus on being a facilitator of great ideas from the collective.

*The Complacency Trap.  If you start thinking that you have all the answers, you can fall into a second trap – lack of curiosity.  After all, you’ve seen it all before!  But maybe not.  The context is constantly changing.  Continually second guess yourself.  “What are we overlooking?  What assumptions are we making?”

*The Avoidance Trap.  Your former boss would not let you avoid tough challenges or uncomfortable interactions.  But now that you are the boss, it is easy to totally avoid these or put them on the back burner.  Of course, sooner or later they will come back to bite you – and they will have become even more difficult to resolve by then.  Make a habit of running toward your most difficult challenges.

*The Friend Trap is acting like a peer, when you are not.  You now need to hold your former peers accountable.  And don’t play favorites.  It’s lonely at the top!  It is vital that you connect with other people – usually outside your organization – who have similar roles so you have a network of support and collegiality.

*The Stress Trap.  Additional stress is inevitable as your responsibility increases.  Self-care is not just a good thing to do for yourself, it needs to be an organizational priority.  Make sure that you are getting your sleep, exercising, eating properly, and practicing mindfulness.  Be careful not to become a full-blown workaholic.

Power doesn’t just change us, it changes those around us.  It changes perceptions and expectations.  Power can influence us in ways we do not even realize.

Use your power wisely.  Watch out for these traps and try to maintain a “servant leader” perspective as you continue to receive more authority and responsibility.  This attitude will carry you and your team a long way in making a Mission Impact.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Diamond, J., Zigarmi, L, & Mones, L. “5 Traps to Avoid as You Gain Power as a Leader,” Harvard Business Review online, June 13, 2024.

We cannot let this happen.

Diversity: we live in a diverse country and our organizations need to reflect that – it is a good thing and the right thing to do. Do your staff recruitment efforts purposely reach out to diverse communities? Are your hiring practices fair and objective?

Equity: people who are doing the same job and performing at the same level deserve the same compensation. Promotions should be based on objective criteria that is widely explained and applied.

Inclusion: everyone needs to feel that they matter, that they have a voice, and that they belong. Everyone needs to feel that their contributions matter.

These are non-negotiable priorities. Stand firm in your efforts!

It will continue to take lots of effort for us to reach Dr. King’s vision of Beloved Community. But I believe in that promised land.

We shall live in peace one day.

Hate crimes are on the rise, including Antisemitism, Islamophobia, and acts impacting people of color, immigrants, the LGBTQ+ Community, and essentially anyone who is not a WASPy straight, male (like me).

If we ever needed more Peace on Earth, it is now.

But what can just one person do about it?

Christians are preparing to celebrate Christmas, Jews have just finished celebrating Hanukkah, many will soon be celebrating Kwanzaa, and all of us will be ringing in the new year.  At this holiday season, I am going to reflect on that question . . .

What can one person do about it?

What can I do?

To begin with, I’m going to focus on treating everyone I encounter with a little more Loving Kindness.  We have no idea what other people are going through.  A little extra caring in our interactions is probably a good place to start – a little kinder, a little less judgmental, more forgiving, and giving people the benefit of the doubt.

When we do this, we are helping to build what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. liked to call, the Beloved Community where kindness, compassion, and love for all motivates our actions.

If we can all take steps in that direction, then maybe we can create a new trend.  And then keep it going even after the holidays.

May we have Peace on Earth . . . and Goodwill to All People.

• Improve Public Speaking
• Practice Giving Effective Feedback
• Learn more about AI
• Get an MBA
• Become More Visionary
• Challenge the Process

These aren’t bad things to work on, but maybe you need to call a timeout and look at something even more fundamental.

How much do people trust you?

If you did a “Trust Audit” of your direct reports and your colleagues, how much would they say they trust you on a scale from 1 – 10; if they were being honest?

How can you improve the level of trust between yourself and others?  Here are some ideas:

*Show Respect to All People at All Times.  No exceptions.  Not just the bosses.  Everyone deserves to be treated with a high level of respect and human dignity all the time.

*Be Honest.  To quote a familiar line “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”  Be forthright.  Don’t hold back.

*Exit the Spin Zone.  Are you always trying to put the best “spin” on everything?  Stop it.  People can smell BS.  Be straight with everyone.

*Be Inclusive.  Go out of your way to get to know other people in your organization – especially if they are different than you.  Make sure that everyone is encouraged to share their ideas during meetings.

*Deliver Bad News Quickly and With Candor.  For example, if there are going to be layoffs and it is going to be tough for everyone – just put it out there in as caring way as you can.

*When You Make a Mistake, Apologize.  None of us are perfect.  When you make a mistake, own up to it immediately, and do your best to make it right.  Don’t play the blame game.

*Be Fair in Your Decisions.  Don’t play favorites.  When you have tough decisions to make, find some trusted people outside your organization who can give you feedback.

You can build trust over a period of years, but it can be shattered in moments.  Be vigilant to maintain your honesty and focus in your relationships with others.  A high level of trust between you and others will make you a more effective leader and, more importantly, a better person.

However, when we are engaged in a negotiation of any kind, it creates incentives for us to violate even our own ethical codes.  And research shows that the more someone in a negotiation has to gain financially, the more likely they are to lie.

This is nothing against any of us – personally – it is just a part of being human.

Even when we believe we are acting ethically, we can deceive ourselves, due to self-serving bias.

Following are some ideas to help you behave ethically in a negotiation:

*Outside Advisor.  One of the best things you can do when you are preparing for a negotiation is to ask a trusted friend – who has nothing to gain or lose – to shadow you through the process.  They can often see things that you simply cannot.

*The Role Model Test.  Would you advise someone else to do what you are about to do?  Would you be proud to see your child do this?  What would society be like if everyone acted this way?

*Front Page Test.  This is a classic.  How would you feel if your behavior was reported on the front page of The Wall Street Journal?

*Fully Prepare.  We humans are even more tempted to cheat and lie if we have not done our homework.  Make sure that you are fully prepared for your negotiation, that you have done your research, and have carefully considered your opening offer, your bottom line, and your alternatives if the negotiation fails.

Of course you want to achieve a favorable outcome from your negotiation.  But lying or cheating in order to do so, makes it ring hollow.  Every time you are reminded of what you did, it will eat away at you. Watch out for these traps and enjoy the good feeling of a successful, ethical negotiation outcome.

Ideas for this blog taken from:  Thompson, L. (2014). The Mind and Heart of the Negotiator (6th edition). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Prentice-Hall.

Legitimacy is one of the things that separates a good leader from an exceptionally effective one.

As per a recent article in Harvard Business Review:

“A legitimate leader engenders good will and a feeling of personal connection with followers. . . (Leaders) who enjoy legitimacy can motivate loyalty and inspire confidence.  They can mobilize others to rise beyond minimum job requirements and give it their all.”

That’s a powerful statement!  What can you do to build your legitimacy?  Here are seven behaviors suggested by the article.

*Behave with Integrity.  Be honest in all of your dealings with everyone.  Respect all people.  Tell the truth with candor.  This single behavior will go a long way to building your legitimacy.

*Focus on Sense of Purpose.  Why are we here and what difference do we want to make?  Make this your singular focus.  Check out this blog on the great book, Leading with Noble Purpose to learn more about this.

*Put the Organization Above Yourself.  This job is not about you – how you look or how you are perceived.  Don’t let your ego get confused about that.

*Show Authenticity.  If you make mistakes – and you will – own them.  Seek feedback from others.  Don’t pretend to be perfect.  Show people that you want to improve.

*Communicate Clearly.  Communicate with purpose.  Connect your plans and activities to mission.  Don’t use jargon.  Talk straight.

*Demonstrate Fairness.  Don’t get wrapped up in politics.  Be just and caring in the decisions you need to make.  Be sure to get input from a broad set of stakeholders.

*Stay Grounded.  Stay humble and approachable.  Yes, you are busy – but so is everyone else.  Make time to meet with people from across the organization.  You are not so cool that you do not have time to do that.

It is especially powerful when you can exhibit these behaviors from Day #1 on your job.  You can build on them no matter how many years you have been in your current position – it just may take more time to change your reputation in certain areas.

If you are fortunate enough to experience some success in your role, especially remember to Stay Grounded.  Don’t let success give you a big head.  If you do, it will undermine all of the work you have done up to this point.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Nohria, N. “How New CEOs Establish Legitimacy,” Harvard Business Review online, June 7, 2023.

Some of the “old school” ideas of courage include being a “tough guy” (and they mean it in a masculine way) who takes lots of risks, has all the answers, and pursues HIS plan no matter what.

Fortunately, more updated ideas of “courage” are emerging – and some of them are discussed in a recent Harvard Business Review article:

*Openness and Humility.  Courageous leaders don’t have to be right all of the time.  They are open to the views of others and can admit when they are wrong.  They can actually apologize.  Thinking you are right all of the time is actually dangerous.

*Put Principles First.  Courageous leaders know that they are not in a popularity contest and don’t try to make everyone happy – as their top goal.  They seek the “right thing” to do for the good of the organization and according to their values.

*Make the Workplace Safe for All.  Courageous leaders encourage others on their team to do the “right thing” as well.  And they provide support and cover if their team gets push back.

Courageous leaders surround themselves with people who will challenge them, rather than hiring the stereotypical “yes man.”  They Voice Their Values and encourage others to do the same.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Detert, J. R.  “What Courageous Leaders Do Differently,” Harvard Business Review online, January 7, 2022.

The news today is filled with lines being drawn in the sand.  While few of us face the terrible decisions our world’s leaders must face, we do all face our own “line in the sand”:  witnessing unethical behavior at work.

Over the course of teaching ethics in the past seven years, I’ve relied on the work of Mary Gentile, recently retired from the Darden School, and her framework called “Giving Voice to Values.”  Gentile gives practical, applicable advice about how to speak your mind when you know what’s right and without getting on a soapbox, influencing the organization to do the right thing.  She suggests:

• Anticipate the common ethical dilemmas you’ll face in your role at work and in your industry. Make a note that these challenges are a normal part of your work.
• As you would for any other normal part of work, prepare for them. You can do that by writing a script that you can recite when the issue arises.
• Practice the script out loud to develop “muscle memory,” just as an athlete would. Do this so that when the pressure is on, you can say your words calmly, naturally, without moving the conversation into high-stakes territory.
• Go one step further and anticipate “reasons and rationalizations” that your counterparts might bring up when you speak your mind, and be ready to respond to those as well.
• Think of persuasive arguments to accomplish your goal, which is not to win the argument, call out unethical behavior or admonish your colleagues. Your goal is to get the organization to do the right thing.  What might motivate them to do the right thing (beyond “it’s the right thing”)?

The practicality of Gentile’s work appeals to me greatly.  If it does to you, too, her book lays it out very clearly.

My students’ openness to this approach has changed in a few areas these past few years.  What’s happened?  #MeToo and #BlackLivesMatter.  The executives I teach – of all genders and ethnicities – are calling a “times up!” on issues they have been silent on in the past.  Their “line in the sand” has changed. They are speaking up more and putting up with less.  One example: According to a survey by Glassdoor, nearly half of Black and Hispanic employees have left jobs because they experienced or witnessed discrimination at work.

As you anticipate the ethical dilemmas you may face, think about where you can be most effective by persuading….and where your “line in the sand” might be.  What’s your “red line” on out-moded workplace behavior?  And how do you want to react next time you witness it?  For all of these scenarios, Mary Gentile’s work is here to help you make a plan and start building your ethical muscle memory.

“Cowardice asks the question, ‘Is it safe?’

Expediency asks the question, ‘Is it politic?’

Vanity asks the question, ‘Is it popular?’

But, conscience asks the question, ‘Is it right?’

And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because one’s conscience tells one that it is right.”