But it’s not Happy for everyone.

Many of us are very fortunate to take part in a lot of extra celebratory activities during the holidays.  There are parties and gifts and family gatherings.  Very fun!

But it’s not Fun for everyone.

There are many different reasons why people may be “blue” at the holidays.

• The loss of a loved one in recent years is always more pronounced around the holidays
• If someone is lonely, they are often even more lonely at this time of year
• Financial stress is amplified during these gift giving times
• Festive TV specials and commercials can make people feel even more left out than usual

It is easy for the fortunate ones among us to get very busy at this time of the year and overlook friends and co-workers who are having a tough time.

*Slow down and pay extra special attention to everyone you regularly interact with.

*Turn up the volume on your empathy awareness – if you see something, say something: “Hey, how’s it going?  Want to get together for a coffee?”

*Treat everyone with an extra portion of care.  It is very easy for people to disguise what they are going through.

Of course, the shorter days and colder weather in most of the US does not help.  Some churches even have special “Longest Night” services on Winter Solstice to provide hopeful, caring spaces for people.

It is great to celebrate the holidays.  But let’s do our best to bring everyone along with us.

Recent research reported in Harvard Business Review tells us that worker dissatisfaction is on the rise.  As a leader, this is your opportunity to step up your game and support your team’s continuous improvement.

Following are eight questions to ask yourself about improving your team’s satisfaction and performance:

1. What are the biggest frustrations my team faces, and what am I doing to remove them?  Actively eliminate obstacles, especially excessive workload, shifting priorities, or clunky approval processes.

2. What decisions am I holding onto that my team could be making?  Avoid being the bottleneck. Give your team specific authority, making it explicit which calls they own.

3. Where am I making people do things my way when I could be giving them flexibility?  Grant autonomy—a high-impact, low-cost way to improve satisfaction. Trust them to manage their schedules and, where possible, offer control over where and when they work.

4. How can I create opportunities for genuine connection?  Strong relationships drive job satisfaction. Hold regular meetings that go beyond status updates, and create time for team members to connect with each other.

5. What am I doing to support my team’s well-being?  Make mental health and wellness resources visible, and actively encourage their use without guilt. As a leader, you must also model balance yourself.

6. How am I making people feel valued and helping them see the meaning in their work?  Offer regular recognition—it’s hard to feel miserable when you feel valued. Share success stories that link an employee’s efforts to real outcomes, reinforcing that what they do matters.

7. Where could I be doing more to help people advance in their careers?  In an uncertain economy, learning and growth are critical. Look for low- or no-cost development opportunities like stretch assignments, mentoring, or job shadowing.

8. When was the last time I took a hard look at whether our pay is competitive?  If you have limited authority over pay, talk openly with employees about how compensation decisions are made. Help them understand the logic and fairness behind the system.

Improving morale won’t happen overnight, but small, consistent actions matter more than grand gestures^. By staying attuned to these eight factors, you can remove obstacles where possible and treat people like they matter.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Knight, R.  “Employee Discontent is on the Rise.  Here’s What to Do About It,” Harvard Business Review online, October 29, 2025.

Following are some ideas on how we can create strategic harmony and integration with these various life goals, based on new research reported in Harvard Business Review.

One of the first things we need to do to create Goal Harmony is to change our mindset from “either/or” thinking to an “and/both” approach.  Research shows that this mindset is a habit that can be developed over time – so give it a try and keep working at it.

Creating Goal Harmony begins by listing all of our major life goals and the essential activities associated with them.  Then we want to look for connections between them.  For example:

• Taking care of your health – working out, eating right, getting your rest – will make you more productive at work and feel better about yourself.
• Invite work colleagues to go with you to your favorite sporting event. You will enjoy the game and deepen relationships with colleagues.
• Take your kids with you to community volunteer activities. You all “do good,” they learn the importance of contributing to community and you build your relationship with them. They “might” even stay off their phones for a while.
• You can also create Goal Harmony for sub-goals within the same broad goal, such as health. The less alcohol you drink and earlier you go to bed, the better sleep you get, and the better chance you have of getting up in time to work out the next morning.

Creating Goal Harmony can provide us with more fulfillment from the achievement of our various goals.  No longer do we need to feel “guilty” about sacrificing one goal for another.  Harmony among our goals also increases the chances that we will really stick to a goal commitment.

Not paying attention to an area of our life that is important to us is like losing a part of ourselves.  We don’t need to do that.  We can create strategic harmony that integrates our life goals and truly gives us a full, thriving life.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Wang, J. & Fischbach, A.   “How to Create Harmony Between Your Personal and Professional Goals,” Harvard Business Review online, September 19, 2025.

Will the annual audit ever be critical of you for not trying to seize that new opportunity that you decided was too risky?  No.

Audits are critical of acts of “commission” vs “omission.”  You don’t want the financial report to show a big expense on a project that did not work out.  But the audit will never fault you for missing that investment in a new idea.

Just ask Kodak.  Remember them?  They once had 90% share of the film market in the US.  When the idea of digital photography came along, they said “pass.”  They only realized many years too late that this new technology – which they invented – was the future.

Sometimes we become so successful that the idea of taking a risk and failing is unthinkable.  And yet, that risk could lead to even more success.

How do we overcome our fear of failure?  Here are some ideas from an article in Harvard Business Review.

1. Redefine Failure. Fear of failure often stems from a fear of looking foolish or not meeting expectations. Instead of viewing failure as a sign of personal inadequacy, reframe it as a learning opportunity. Successful professionals are not those who avoid mistakes, but those who learn from them and move forward. Entrepreneurs like to say: “Fail fast and fail forward.”
2. Acknowledge the Fear. Rather than pretending the fear isn’t there, take a moment to acknowledge it. Giving your fear a voice can lessen its power over you. Respond to the fear by saying: “This is a calculated risk that I am willing to take. The potential upside is worth this risk.”  Keep a picture of success at the forefront of your mind.
3. Test Your Assumptions. Our fears are often based on worst-case scenarios that are unlikely to happen. Test your fear by asking yourself, “What is the worst that can happen if I fail?” Often, the answer is not as dire as we imagine. In the professional world, setbacks can lead to new opportunities, new skills, and even new professional relationships.
4. Get Comfortable with Discomfort. Feeling fearful is a normal part of stepping outside of your comfort zone. If you don’t feel a little apprehension, it might be a sign that you aren’t challenging yourself enough to grow and achieve your most important goals.

You will absolutely fail sometimes.  Fine.  Own it.  Learn.  And be proud you were willing to take a risk on something you believed in.  The alternative is that you would never know if you could have been successful.  Use these four steps so you can start to see fear not as an obstacle, but as a guide that helps you move forward and achieve your full potential.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Peppercorn, S.  “How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure,” Harvard Business Review, July-August 2022, pp. 135-139.

Big question!

Researchers have found that we need to feel three things regularly for a satisfying life:

• Achievement (recognition; sense of accomplishment)
• Meaningfulness (connection to something larger than ourselves)
• Joy in the moment (happiness; positive emotion)

Many successful working professionals report that they do pretty well on these first two areas, but it is Joy that seems to be experienced less often.  Why is this?

Time is a challenge for many.

Research from Harvard Business School, based on a study of 1,500 alumni with full-time careers and families, sheds light on the challenge of time.  These working professionals reported just over three hours a day for discretionary activities.  While joy was more prevalent in free time than at work, the study found that life satisfaction is higher when free time is spent joyfully – regardless of how much free time one has.

The good news is that it’s possible to find more sparks of Joy in the limited leisure time you already have. Here are five research-backed strategies to help you make the most of your free moments:

1. Engage with Others.  Strong, meaningful relationships are the most powerful predictor of life satisfaction.  The study found that shared experiences amplified joy.  Engaging in any free-time activity with others almost always felt more enjoyable than doing it alone – even just watching TV together.
2. Avoid Passive Pursuits.  After a long day, it’s tempting to collapse onto the couch, but passive leisure like watching TV or scrolling social media can be a disservice.  Research shows that active pursuits such as exercising, exploring hobbies, and volunteering bring more joy than passive ones.
3. Follow Your Passion.  Joy in free time comes when we let it remain free from obligations and societal expectations.  Autonomy—making choices aligned with your personal values—is crucial for well-being.  Pursuits that you find personally rewarding will boost your life satisfaction significantly.
4. Diversify Your Activities.  While following your passion is key, dedicating too much time to a single leisure pursuit can actually diminish its benefit.  Variety, not depth, boosts happiness by preventing monotony and keeping experiences fresh.
5. Protect the Time.  Work often bleeds into free time, but overworking is linked to increased health problems and reduced well-being. Psychological detachment from work during off-hours improves well-being and job engagement.  The study found that for every additional hour devoted to work, joy in life decreased, while using that hour for leisure increased happiness.

You don’t need to find more hours in the day to create a more satisfying life. By prioritizing variety, seeking social and active experiences, and protecting your personal passions, you can find more sparks of joy in the limited leisure time you already have.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Perlow, L., Menster, S., & Affinito, S. J.  “How the Busiest Find Joy,” Harvard Business Review, July-August 2025.

For years, the conventional wisdom has been to silence this “inner critic.” But if you’ve ever tried, you know it’s very hard to do.

A recent article from Harvard Business Review suggests that we may have completely misunderstood the role of this internal voice.

It turns out, your inner critic isn’t trying to sabotage you: it’s trying to protect you.  Shaped by early life experiences, this protective part of us often adopts a harsh tone because it learned that harshness equals safety.  It believes that it can shield you from external judgment, embarrassment, or failure.

So, instead of trying to silence it, here is how we can work with our inner critic to turn it into an ally:

1. Trace its origin story. Your inner critic has a history.  Reflect on when you first noticed this voice. Whose voice does it sound like? What was happening in your life then? Understanding its origins helps you see it as a voice of memory, not absolute truth.  Giving your critic a name, like “The Enforcer” or “The Coach,” can create helpful psychological distance.
2. Separate the method from the message. Your inner critic often has legitimate concerns, but its delivery is usually damaging. Ask yourself: What is this voice trying to prevent? Try responding with: “I hear you. You’re trying to keep me from [looking foolish/getting hurt/making a mistake]. Thank you. But we can approach this differently.”
3. Lead with self-compassion. This isn’t about empty affirmations, but acknowledging struggle and offering care. When self-judgment arises, name what you’re feeling, then offer a nurturing statement. For example, “I’m feeling anxious because I made a mistake. Of course I feel this way; I care deeply about doing a good job. But one mistake doesn’t define me.”
4. Give the critic a new script. Once your critic feels heard, you can offer it new, more constructive language. Instead of “You’re not ready,” try “Let’s make sure we’re well prepared.”

The goal isn’t to banish self-doubt entirely, but to train your inner critic with compassion and curiosity. This shifts its role from a punisher to a protector, a saboteur to a strategist, ultimately changing how you lead yourself.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Carucci, R.  “Don’t Silence Your Inner Critic, Talk to It,” Harvard Business Review online, May 15, 2025.

One study on professional services firms found that the majority of respondents said their jobs were“highly demanding, exhausting, and chaotic.”

If that sounds like you – or if you are heading that direction – you may end up with “hurry sickness.”  This malady was first identified more than fifty years ago by two cardiologists who saw the damaging effects of “hurrying” on their patients’ health.  The anxiety and stress from constant “hurry” can result in high blood pressure, insomnia, and headaches.  It increases the risk of cardiovascular disease.

That all sounds pretty bad.  But, the good news is that you can do something about it.  Following are some suggestions based on a recent article from Harvard Business Review.

First, you need to cut down your volume of work:

• Delegate More. You will never advance in your career if you do not practice effective delegation.  Check out this blog for more details on how to do this.
• Say No More Frequently. Create a new standard response to requests – which is “Tell me more about the expectations.”  And then “Thanks – I will get back to you tomorrow.”  Take the time to assess if this is something you can reasonably do.  Stop making “Yes” your default.
• Negotiate Deadlines. People always want something “yesterday.”  And actually, their requests are not all that urgent.  After considering requests for 24 hours, suggest a different deadline if you are going to take on the project at all.

Once your workload is reduced:

• Block Time for Your Work. Don’t make yourself constantly available for meetings.  Make sure you have time on your calendar to do your work.
• Become Selective About Performance Standards. Not everything needs to be perfect.  You know this, but you need to actually work this way.  Some things can just be “good enough.”
• Relentlessly Prioritize. Make sure that you and your boss are clear on your priorities and communicate clearly if some things are not going to get done.
• Practice Mindfulness. You will still be left with a full plate even after taking all these suggestions.  Try to take a few minutes a day – even if it is just for some quiet time with deep breathing – to slow down.

We all know that rushing from one project to another is a bad idea.  Take the time to slow down, prioritize, and work at a more reasonable pace.  The quality of your mental and physical health will improve, as well as the quality of your work.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Wiens, K.  “The Insidious Effects of Hurrying,” Harvard Business Review online, January 13, 2025.

Research tells us that engaged employees perform at higher levels and drive organizational results.  It also tells us that engaged employees stay with the organization longer.  This is very important as workplace attrition continues to be a big problem for many organizations.

Following are some conversations you can have with your employees – over time – to increase their engagement.  These ideas are based on a recent Harvard Business Review article.

*What are your career goals and dreams?  How can I support you in moving toward these?  This is a foundational commitment that you can make to each employee – to support them for the long term.  Every employee should have a professional development plan that targets both what they can do to improve their skills at their current job – and for their dream job.

*What could make this job more compelling for you?  Discuss short run and long run ideas.  If you can rearrange the employee’s responsibilities so they can do more of what they do best every day, that would be ideal.  Or maybe you can get rid of things that they do not like to do and are not very good at.

*How do you derive meaning from your work?  This conversation is your opportunity to make sure they understand how their work contributes to overall organization success.  You may need to remind them of this regularly.

*What’s something that you are excited about outside of work?  You may be able to support the employee with these outside passions.  Even if not, it helps you get to know them better outside of the work world.   And it shows them that you actually care about them as a person.  (NOTE: this will not be effective unless you actually DO care about them outside of work; you can’t fake sincerity.)

Having these conversations with individuals on your team can be a great way to build engagement.  If you want to continue building engagement, then I recommend the book First Break All the Rules, which outlines the Gallup approach to management – including the Q12 survey.

Mediocre employee performance and attrition are huge costs for organizations these days.  Investing your time in employee engagement can have a big payoff for you, your organization, and your employees.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Knight, R.  “6 Questions to Find Out How Your Employees Are Really Doing,” Harvard Business Review online, December 17, 2024.

Inherently, there is nothing wrong with conflict – and constructive conflict can be very helpful for a team’s performance.  This is because high performing teams get the best ideas out in the open and then respectfully evaluate which is best for the organization – without personal agendas getting in the way.

But how do we work through conflicts in a productive and constructive way?

Following are some ideas from a recent article in Harvard Business Review to help us navigate conflicts:

*Remember: Your Perspective is Just One of Many.  It may seem to you that you obviously have the right perspective on this issue.  But actually, there are many legitimate viewpoints.  Go into the dialogue with an open mind.

*Practice Active Listening.  Repeat back to the person what you think you heard using your own words.  Keep doing this until they say you have it right.  Explore their interests.  Use one of my favorite phrases: “Help me understand . . . ”

*Don’t Make it “Me Against Them.”  This is not about you being right.  It is about exploring all perspectives of the issue and moving forward – together.

*Experiment with a “Third Way.”  Often we enter a conflict with two sides to consider.  Try to invent new ways of addressing the issue that addresses most of the interests of both parties.

*Regulate Your Emotions.  Go into the dialogue with a calm, clear mind.  Do some mindfulness meditation and deep breathing ahead of time.  Do NOT try to have this dialogue if you are upset about something.

*Keep the Relationship at the Forefront.  This is someone that you will likely need to work with for years to come. While you want to promote your interests, don’t do this at the expense of the relationship.

Constructive conflict can lead to more effective outcomes, improved work relationships, and opportunities to learn and grow.  Who knows, you might actually learn something!  Use these ideas to successfully navigate conflicts that can lead to improved Mission Impact.

*Ideas for this blog taken from: Gallo, A.  “How to Master Conflict Resolution,” Harvard Business Review online, October 21, 2024.

What Is Stress and Its Impact

We all experience stress. It’s the feeling we get when things feel overwhelming, out of control, or too much to handle. Maybe it’s a busy day at work or school, a disagreement with a friend or co-worker, worries about the future, politics, or events around the world.  Stress isn’t just in our heads. It affects our whole bodies, making it hard to think clearly, sleep well, or even enjoy the things we usually love.

Here’s the thing: we can’t just “think” our way out of stress. When people are in a negative emotional space, their brains are focused on problems, and finding solutions is hard. This is where saboteurs—the negative voices in our heads—show up. These unruly inner critics loudly say, “You can’t handle this,” “You are not good enough,” or “Shame on you, you should do better.” These negative thoughts elevate stress, keeping us in a cycle of worry and frustration that diminishes our well-being, distracts performance, and strains relationships.

Navigate Stress By Building Mental Fitness

There is good news. You can learn to “disarm” these saboteurs and navigate stress in a healthy way for your lifetime. Here are three steps to practice today. The more you practice, the more you build your mental fitness.

1. Start with noticing when you feel stressed or stuck in negative thinking. When you notice it, celebrate it. Say to yourself with a smile, “Wow, I caught you negative thinking and I won’t let you hold me back now.” This interruption and celebration is a first step toward feeling better.
2. Next, shift your brain into its sage channel.  This is the part of the brain where calm, creativity, and problem-solving happen. One way to charge up your sage channel is to do an easy centering exercise for at least 10 seconds, the time it takes for three normal breaths. Close your eyes if you can. As you breathe, bring all of your attention to the activity of inhaling and exhaling. It is natural for your mind to wander. Gently bring it back to focusing on your breathing. The focused attention on your breath, away from thinking, gives your brain the reset it needs to recharge.
3. Now, use your creative power to design a small step you feel good (and not stressed) about taking. Ask yourself and answer these two questions: 1) What is 10% right (a little bit good) about my situation? 2) What next step could this perspective lead me to take? These questions help pivot stress to new opportunities.

Stress will always be a part of life, especially leadership. By noticing it, celebrating your awareness, and using mindset-shifting tools to build mental fitness, you can lead yourself and others to calmness, confidence, and clarity, contributing to a more satisfying and positively impactful day.

More Ideas To Disarm Saboteurs

Subscribe to the Effective Nonprofit Leadership With Less Stress Newsletter and receive a copy of Denice’s eBook Disarming Saboteurs: 6 Mindset Tools for Nonprofit and Association Leadership.  https://tinyurl.com/managance