Staying quiet and nodding your head is not enough!
In order to be an effective, active listener we need to listen purely for comprehension – without an agenda! Wow – that is not easy.
But it is important. Research shows that people who engage in active listening are considered to be more trustworthy, competent, and likable.
Here are some excellent thoughts from Amy Gallo in a recent article in Harvard Business Review on how we can improve our Active Listening skills.
1. Pay attention to the whole person. Active Listening is about using empathy and self-awareness to tune into the other person’s thoughts and feelings – as well as what they say.
2. Focus. Eye contact, nodding, and other nonverbals are a good start. Pay attention to the information, stay calm and compassionate, convey your interest verbally and non-verbally.
3. Focus is hard! It’s okay to say “I think I missed something, would you mind going over that again.”
4. This is about the person you are listening to, not about you. This is not about you. Not about you.
5. Don’t rehearse your response. If you are thinking about what you are going to say next, then it is difficult to really listen. Ask questions early in the conversation and take your time to figure out your perspective. For example, “Please tell me more. I want to make sure I fully understand.”
Developing our Active Listening is a lifetime endeavor. And the payoffs are huge. Research shows that when people feel heard, it increases job satisfaction and organization commitment.
As Gallo says, Active Listening “turns a conversation into an active, non-competitive, two-way interaction.” Just imagine how much more productive our relationships and workplaces will be if we can learn to listen like that.
*Ideas for this blog taken from: Gallo, A. “What is Active Listening?” Harvard Business Review online, January 2, 2024.
