Early in my career a few people I respected recommended that I read the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
I was not interested! I didn’t need to “win” friends. I was already good at “making” friends. And the “winning friends” part made me suspicious that the “influencing people” part was about “how to manipulate” people. Not interested.
Finally, enough people kept recommending it that I broke down and read it. And I became a fan! That was many years ago. I have recommended the book and/or given it to many people over the years. This little blog is my recommendation for you to read it as well!
The most important part of the book is Carnegie’s recommendation: “Become genuinely interested in other people.”
As you know, some people are “genuinely” interested in others – and some are not. Some are way more interested in themselves. I am guessing that since you are reading this, you are someone who IS genuinely interested in others – you care about them. And if that is true, then this book will help you understand how to show people that you really care.
Here are just some of the nuggets from the book that may help you decide to read it:
- Remember names: A person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener: Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Show respect for opinions: Never say, “You’re wrong.”
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation
- Smile: It is a messenger of your goodwill.
- As a leader, praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
- By controlling your ego and prioritizing the dignity of others, you naturally gain influence.
If you care about people, then using these behaviors will help people see it and feel it.
IMPORTANT: These are not tricks! If you don’t care about people and use these behaviors, people will realize that you are full of it!
In a world that often rewards selfishness and in which many people don’t feel cared about, these are important behaviors to consider – if you really do care about others. And, of course, if you don’t care, people will figure you out. You cannot fake sincerity.
